all the rules book free download

all the rules book free download

They get to experience longing! Tell yourself you are doing them a faver when you feel heartless about doing The Rates! Some machines will automatically turn on after fourteen rings. Can you imagine him letting it ring fourteen times? I wanted to take you for a drive in the country. If they're not angry, they're indifferent, and if they're indifferent, they've got one foot out the door. Getting off the phone after a few minutes is not easy, but it works. T'll let you know what's a good night for me next week.

She just listened to it ring and ring. When he finally reached her the next day at work, he was a little less cocky and somewhat nervous.

He asked her what night would be good for Aer! The phone strategy weorked—he never pulled another stunt like that again. Sometimes game playing is good. Men like to think that they are getting the prom queen. Show him that you have a full life, that you are independent. Never let him think, even if it's true that you are home thinking about him and making the wedding guest list. Men love the seemingly unattainable girl!

Lest you think this advice is old-fashioned, remind yourself that you are a very fulfilled person—stable, functional, and happy—with a career, friends, and hobbies, and that you are perfectly capable of living with or without him. You are not an empty vesel waiting for him to fill you up, support you, or give you a life. You are alive and enthusiastic, engaged in work and in living fully on your own. Men like women who are their own person, not needy leeches waiting to be rescued.

The Rates are not about being rescued! In fact, the biggest mistake a woman can make when she meets a man she wants to marry is to make him the center of her life. All she thinks about and talks about 1s him. She bores her girlfriends to death with details about every date. She is constantly looking for ties to buy him or clipping newspaper articles that he would find interesting.

First of all, he may be overwhelmed by all the attention. Second, he may never propose. And third, he may never rescue you emotionally and financially in the way you think. Even if he marries you, he may always have that night out with the boys, his hobbies, or that Sunday morning basketball game.

And he may want a working wife. So better get used to the idea now that you must have a life of your own—a job, interests, hobbies, friends that you can fill up on in between dates and even when you are married. The worst thing you can do when dating 13 to expect him to be your entertainment director. Be happy and busy. He should always be catching you coming or going. We hear again and again about women whose worlds shrink when they meet Mr.

When you meet Mr. Right is precisely the time to take up tennis, get an MBA, or go on that camping trip with your friends. But this is not a Aaies date. The man whe eventually wants to marry you will not wait until the last minute to ask you out. And when he is in love with you, a week will feel like eternity! Other women have spoiled them by accepting last-minute offers. As we've stated, ideally he should ask you out at the end of your last date or call you as early as Monday or Tuesday for the next Saturday night.

The Rules will make you foremost on his mind, the first thing he thinks about in the morning. The best way to encourage him to phone sooner is to turn him down when he calls on Thursday for Saturday night. Hopefully, he will get the hint. This is not a game. You have friends and lots of things to do. You need to know ahead of time if you're going to have a date Saturday night or go to the movies with the girls. When men are calling you as late as Thursday, you become a nervous wreck.

They have plans. Be very nice, but very firm when you say no. What matters is the message you're sending, which is: If you want to get a Saturday night date with me, you must call on Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday.

When Ted first called cur friend Beth on a Thursday night for a Saturday night date, she said yes right away. That set a bad precedent for him calling her at the last minute for future dates.

Remember, The Ruis are about the long haul. The way a man behaves—rather, the way you aliow him to behave toward you—during your courtship is usually the way he will behave during your marriage. Men who call ten minutes before they're going to be in your neighborhood to see you may be terrific dates, but how busy and hard to get are you if they can see you in ten minutes? If you give in, these men will end up treating you like someone they ca get in ten minutes.

But remember to be very nice when you say no. Give him a break. Rwies girls are an unusual breed. He will soon realize that you simply want to be asked in advance for a date. Again, men are not trying to hurt you when they call at the last minute. Want to see a movie this afternoon? Spontaneity is fine, butit should happen durag the date, such as an unexpected drive to the beach after dinner. We wish them luck.

Free spirits might object to what we are saying, but for long-lasting results we believe in treating dating like a job, with mules and regulations.

Just like you have to work from nine to five, no matter how you fel, we believe you have to silently train men to make plans with you elusive, busy, happy you!

If you make it too easy for men, they're certain to take advantage and then you can forget about getting a Rus marriage. We realize that the days in between dates with the man you are crazy about can be long and excruciating; but, remember, it's worse to say yes indiscriminately whenever he wants to see you and risk him getting bored. If you play your cards right, he will reach the conclusion that the only way to see you whenever he wants, at the last minute, is to marry you!

They want the man to find them beautiful, to ask them out again, and to father their children. Needless to say, these women are usually disappointed.

That's why we have found it very helpful-in fact, essential— to be booked up as much as possible before the date. Buy a new shirt or a bottle of perfume Get a makeover.

Treat yourself. Take a nap. Being around them might make you reek of desperation on the date. And you've named the children before he says hello.

This type of seemingly innocuous daydreaming before the date is dangerous, possibly the worst thing you can do short of professing love to him during dessert. Yes, you can reciprocate but much later—see Rae 4.

Be busy right up until the minute he buzzes you from downstairs. Preferably, meet him in the lobby of your apartment building or at a restaurant. Remember that you are a creature unlike any other, a beautiful woman, inside and out.

You should feel no pressure whatsoever. In general, let him do all the work—pick you up, pick the restaurant, open the door, and pull out your chair.

You should always try to date other people so that you never get hung up on one man at any time. At the end of the first date, you can accept a light peck on the cheek or lips even though you're dying to do more. He should only see the lobby of your apartment building. This 1s both for safety and The Rules. By not letting him into your apartment or agreeing to go to his, you drastically reduce your chances of any sort of problem occurring.

If you meet someone at a bar or party, the same rule applies. On the second date use your judgment. If you feel comfortable with this man, he can pick you up at your apartment and you can invite him up for a drink at the end of the night. Anyone can get a onenight stand.

Not too much feeling, investment, or heart. You're probably wondering how long you can keep up this act, right? On the fourth date, you can show more of yourself. Exhibit warmth, charm, and heart. Ifhis dog died or his baseball team lost, express sympathy. Look into his eyes, be attentive and a good listener so that he knows you are a caring human being—a person who would make a supportive wife.

Those are subjects for fra to bring up. You get the idea! Donttell him what your astrologist, nutritionist, personal trainer, shrink, or yoga instructor think about your relationship with him. He'll think you're a loser or a tramp. Its none of your business. Try to let 47 shine. Just for the first few months Eventually you will become more of yourself. It's the first impressions from the first few months of dating that men remember forever.

If you find it hard to keep up this act, then end the date early or see less of him. Letting it all hang out too soon is counterproductive to your goals. But net sounselfish that you feel you have to answer any question you regard as too personal or none of his business just yet.

Some men like to pry secrets cut of women. Women sometimes reveal more than they really care to, hoping that their revelations will draw a man closer to them—but afterwards they feel naked, as well as tricked and cheated. Be careful how you answer his questions. If he asks you how long you are planning to live in your apartment, say you're renewing your lease. But the foldout couch she'd been sleeping on was broken.

Rather than consulting Bruce on the bed purchase— asking him what kind of bed he liked and what size he hiked, as if to suggest that this might be the bed they would be sharing one day—she bought the single bed as if shehad no intention of getting married soon.

I have such a busy day tomorrow. But it must be done because you must leave him wanting more of you, not less. It is our experience that men will want to see you a lot, sometimes every day in the beginning, and then grow very bored very quickly. So abide by Te Rules and hell stay smitten. Not ending the date first is bad enough. What's worse, however, is prolonging the date once it should have been over.

Of course, Randy should have ended the date right after the movie, but she thought she could excite Bob with her great disco dancing. Other women try to prolong a first or second date, for example, by inviting the man up to her apartment for a drink or coffee so that he'll fall in love with her decorating, or her homebrewed decaf.

First of all, it should be the man trying to prolong the date, not you. Instead of worrying about making the date interesting or longer, just make sure you end it first. Ideally, jewelry, but any romantic gift will do. It is not how expensive the item 1s, but the fype of gift it is. A typewriter can cost more than an inexpensive pair of earrings, and a computer, one would think, connotes love, being such a costly item, but such presents come from the head, not the heart, and are not good signs of love at all.

No one knows this rule better than Susan, who received a Sergio Tacchini sweat suit for Valentines Day from Brian, her boyfriend of three months. When we told her the romance was over, she argued that the suit costs almost two hundred dollars and is very cool at the better country clubs.

But we knew that Susan would have been better off with candy or flowers. When men are in lave, they give love objects even if they are on a tight budget. Flowers, jewelry, poetry, and weekend trips to the country are the kinds of gifts given by men in love. Sure enough, Brian dropped Susan a few months later. Remember, gift giving has nothing to do with money. He then spent four hours wniting a beautiful love poem to her in it. A Rwes present if there ever was one! As most women know, the time a man spends on anything is virtually priceless.

Just read what's written! Furthermore, while a romantic gift is a must for birthdays, Valentine's Day, and anniversaries, a man who is crazy about you will give you all kinds of things all the time. For example, when Patty expressed an interest in biking, her boyfriend Mike bought her a fancy helmet.

When Lori received roses from Kevin on their third date she was absolutely ecstatic. If he sees you digging in your bag for a pen, he lends you his and then tells you to keep it.

Basically, he notices everything about you, except anything bad. When a man is notin love with you, he notices nothing or only the bad. Again, this is not about being gold diggers or princesses wanting to be doted on all the time.

They also fall owt of love faster. They may want to see you two or three times a week, some even every day, in the beginning. If you give in and see them every time, eventually they get restless and irritable, and then stop calling. I just have a lot going on right now. We know how painful this can be. But, girls, you must put your foot down!

Men like sports and games—football, tennis, blackjack, and pokerbecause they love a challenge. So be a challenge! Remember, this Ra is not forever. After seeing him once a week for the first month, you can see him twice or three times a week during the second month, and three to four times a week in the third month.

But never more than four or five times a week unless you're engaged. Men must be conditioned to feel that if they want to see you seven days a week they have to marry you. I already have plans. A man who is in love with you and hopes to marry you won't be put off by the onceto-twicea-week dating structure you set up in the beginning. We find that only men who are just with you for fun or sex are likely to get angry or impatient.

It might all be true and he may call again and ask you out Butit might bea ploy to get you into bed on the first or second date. If you fall for his lines and see him every night that week—after all, you think he 1s serious about you—he might take you out a couple of times and have sex with you. A very painful thing. If you follow The Ruies and slow down the process, forcing him to get to know you and ready fall in love, this will not happen.

So do yourself a faver and do The Rules. Let him kiss you on the first date, but nothing more. Keeping it to a kiss will force him not to think of you as just a physical object. If a Rwes relationship is to develop, he must fall in love with your soul, your whole being, nat just your body.

So the less you do physically, the better. Some men might make you feel that you're being old- fashioned or prudish. Some might make fun of you or even get angry. If he really cares about you, he will respect your boundaries. In addition, if you are following Rul 9 How to Act on Dates L 2, and 3 , things should not get out of hand.

As we said earlier, you should be talking about politics, real estate, good movies, not marriage, kids, love, former boyfriends and girlfriends, and sexual positions. Besides, if you really like him, just kissing can be a lot of fun!

The Rude depends on your age and personal feelings. If he loves you, he'll respect whatever decision you make. Anger indicates interest, and you might be surprised, for he will probably call you again!

But what if you like sex a lot toa, and denying yourself is just as hard as denying him? Does that mean you can sleep with him on the first or second date? Unfortunately, the answer is still no. You will just have to exercise a bit of self-restraint and character building here and trust that if you hold off for a few weeks or months, you won't be sorry.

Better that he be angry and strategizing ways of seducing you on the next date than moving onto the next girl. Making him wait will only increase his desire and create more passion when you finally have sex whenever you're ready. We know it can be excruciating to put sex off with someone you're attracted to, but you must think long term here. If you play your cards right, you can have sex with him every night for the rest of your life when you're married!

Every woman wants the man she just slept with to call her, that is, if she really likes him—and hopefully she likes the man she's sleeping with. We wait until we're sure before having sex. Let's say that now, hopefully, you've held off for a while and are ready to have sex with him.

What Rus should you follow in bed? First and foremost, stay emotionally cool no matter how hot the sex gets. The fact is, most women turn men off not only because they sleep with them too soon, but because they tall too much about it in bed. They try to exploit the physical closeness of sex to gain emotional closeness, security, and assurances about the future. The theories of Masters and Johnson who are now divorced are not to be ignored, but please wait a good amount of time before you begin holding lengthy seminars about your needs during sex or after sex.

Being with you in bed should not be difficult or demanding. He should be excited about just sleeping with you. Remember, these are your needs you are concerned about filling, and The Rates are a selfless way of living and handling a relationship.

Men merely want to lie down next to someone they care about when they are feeling strong emotions. Be casual and unmoved about the fact that the date is over. With that attitude, chances are he will be the one hanging on. If you do, he'll probably run to the nearest coffee shop for breakfast. Instead, go quietly about your business—brush your hair and your teeth, do some sit-ups and stretches, brew coffee-and chances are he'll start massaging your shoulders and suggesting morning sex or a great brunch place.

Otherwise, you're being a tease. On the other hand, what if youre more into sex than he is? Last but not least, whenever you do have sex, always use a condom. If he loves you, it won't matter how pretty the girls at the gym are. Gur friend Marcy was seeing Joe for a couple of months when he suddenly started to make weekend plans with his friends.

Conditioned by her therapist to be honest and up front about her feelings, Marcy told Joe that she felt abandoned. She was ecstatic. But after a month of togetherness, he suddenly stopped calling. She never heard from him again. Men do what they want to do. Read the tea leaves and move on to the next man if necessary!

He may simply be shy about the whole thing. No one can make him marry us. You will end up emasculating him and he will come to see you as a domineering shrew. He wants someone who makes him feel good or better, not inadequate So leave him alone. When he asks you what to wear or how to play tennis, you can help him. The man must take the lead or you fall over your feet. Remember, let him take the lead. He declares love first, just as he picks most of the movies, the restaurants, and the concerts the two of you go to.

He might sometimes ask you for your preference, in which case you can tell him. Remember, mothers can get quite anxious about your dating life. He should introduce you to his friends before you introduce him to yours. You should double with his married or dating friends before you double with yours.

Sheila has told me sa much about you. After he proposes, he will eventually meet all your friends and family. Until then, just follow his lead! There are a couple of things you wish were different. What do you do? You should either accept certain flaws or find someone else. Of course, it all depends on what it is about him that bothers you. Ifheis fanatically neat, chronically tardy, hates Chinese food your favorite and disco dancing you love it , or he won't part with his childhood baseball card collection, but he loves you to death, consider yourself lucky.

These are annoying but relatively harmless vices, which we classify under category A. Just be ready at 9 P. When it comes to B-type behavior, such as infidelity and lack of consideration, seriously think about ending the relationship. What you see is what you get.

If a man cheated on you during your courtship, he may do so during your marriage. He might be on best behavior for a while after you catch him the first time. Old habits die hard. You must decide if you can live with him. Whether or not he ever cheats on you again, realize that the thought will always cross your mind.

Is that how you want to live? If it is, Ruxles women make up their minds and live with it. Make him approach you. You are a girl in demand. Even though it sucks. He will call you more. End the date first. Once books are open, they end up closed.

Be supportive and sympathetic Refrain from seeing more than times a week Only casual kissing on the first date Even if you are not busy, pretend like you are. This is not lying. Let him be a man. Bossy can come off as jealous or insecure. Always have something to do. Never act bored. Bored people are boring. Feelings are heavy and nobody wants those so shut up and suck it up. Sometimes it is better to be lonely than rejected. Even then, you have netflix.

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